Book Prelude..!!
Title: How to Be an Adult in Relationships [The Five Keys to Mindful Loving]
Author: David Richo
Pages:312
Genre: Non-Fiction [Self-Help]
Publication date: 20 Dec 2025
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
About the Author..!!
David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.
He received his BA in psychology from Saint John’s Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.
Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving and The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth. Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.
Book Description..!!
This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles, as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships.
“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include:
When Love Meets Awareness..!!!
Every once in a while, I come across a book that doesn’t just speak to my mind — it speaks to my heart, and How to Be an Adult in Relationships is one of them. David Richo’s writing feels like a calm, honest conversation with a wise friend. It’s not another relationship manual filled with “rules.” Instead, it’s a soulful journey into what it truly means to love mindfully — with awareness, kindness, and courage.
Book précis…!!!
The book revolves around what Richo calls the Five A’s of Love — Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. At first, they sound simple, but as you read on, you realize how deeply they shape every relationship in your life — from how you were loved as a child to how you show up as a partner or friend today.
Why This Book Stands Out?
What makes this book so refreshing is how Richo blends psychology and spirituality without making either feel heavy. His Buddhist background adds a quiet, mindful tone, while his experience as a psychotherapist brings grounded wisdom. He reminds us that relationships are not self-sustaining; they need tending — much like a garden.
Book Prelude..!!
What struck me most was how he reframed love as a practice, not a feeling. Love isn’t something that just happens; it’s something we consciously nurture through presence and patience. Reading this, I found myself pausing to reflect — not on how others treat me, but on how I respond, how I love, and how often my ego interferes with intimacy.
Richo doesn’t shy away from the messy parts — fear, conflict, attachment, or our old emotional wounds. Yet, he approaches them with empathy, helping readers see that healing and maturity are intertwined.
Who is this book for?
If you’re tired of surface-level advice and want a book that speaks to the soul of love, this one’s for you. It’s for those who want to understand why patterns repeat, why we cling or withdraw, and how mindfulness can heal those cycles. Whether you’re single, dating, married, or somewhere in between, this book will help you bring more awareness and compassion into every connection.
My Thoughts.!!
One of my favorite takeaways was this: Mindfulness creates the space where love can breathe. Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, working on self-acceptance, or simply trying to communicate better, the practices he shares — from reflective questions to daily awareness — guide you gently toward emotional wholeness.
End Note..!!!
This isn’t just a book about relationships with others; it’s about your relationship with yourself — how you hold space for your emotions, forgive your past, and allow love to evolve naturally.
Quote(s)..!!
- Life is not always fair—yet we can be fair and even generous.
- Appreciation means the attitude of gratitude.
- Affection means the love we feel for others and for the universe
Links & FootNote..!!
My Handle: Kiran_Kumar_Adharapuram
You can also explore my works -> Here
My Non-Fiction Book Reviews -> Here
My Fiction Book Reviews -> Here
My Self-Help Book Reviews -> Here
